Nimble Fingers

I went shopping today
Bought a pair of sandals
embroidered with sequins
beads, metallic threads
and tear drops



© Gopika Nath

Heart Song

I needed these words today
this remembrance
of being, once long ago
I was, now forgotten
in the humdrum of
worldly strategies, seeking
a return to love
That blissful union
of soul, where
I once was, me
with only myself

***

How did I go
so far from you

So far from a love
I gave but could not contain

So far from myself
that I did not recognize
you, you or you, him or her

My emissaries from
that yesterday when
you kissed my soul
with the bliss of nothingness

***

I am parched
So thirsty I sought
to drink from his lips
knowing the kiss
would never fulfil
a longing for you, knowing
how thirsty I was for you
I persisted because
I needed to touch, to feel
skin next to mine and
even though it never felt
as divine as you, I
persist for thirst slakes
my sinew, a thirst for
sweat, semen and skin
yours through him
I will always feel parched
but not alone, thirsty but
holding the glass in vanity
Knowing, yet denying
the essence of you
within me.

***

Is there no secret
I can keep from you

Every thought you hear
every feeling you know
even those yet unfathomed
by me

Every question, you
answer, before
I can complete
its punctuating mark

When you know me
so well and tend
my every need
Why do I seek another
skin next to mine
Why do I forsake
your caressing tenderness
for the sweat of him

***

These tears are for you
gratitude from my soul
bound till yesterday in
the agony of wanting
to be loved, knowing
I am, yet unable
to see you

***

Fill me
so that I can live
another day

Fill me, fill me, and fill me
with the subtleness
of you

Fill me
Fill this parched soul
with a renewed passion
for life

Fill me, fill me and fill me
that I may live close
very close to you.

***



© Gopika Nath

Reticence

>

The phone sits mute
on the polished table
cluttered with everyday things
So much remains unsaid
but fear has placed
a finger on these lips

Do you hear the wind
whispering among the leaves
Listen to the clouds trembling
under the wrath of thunder
a meek rhythm of your name

Can you see the red haze
in the laden grey sky
Or this fold of pearly-blue
behind the fiery sun
Amidst black puffs of engine smoke
Do you see mist in these eyes

Can you hear the ticking clock
in the darkness of night
but not the echoes of love
in the spaces between

The phone sits mute
A bulb flickers with hope
but wisdom keeps
a finger on these lips


© Gopika Nath

Dil Ki Kamzori [hinglish]

Vo bina helmet ke
badi teizee se
scooterchala raha tha
speed-breaker dekha nahi

palatne se
vo toh baal baal baccha
lekin jo samaan
saath lekar ja raha tha,
ek lohe ki machine
vo buri tarah
sadak pe gira

joro se
tyron ki cheekh sunai padi
an arresting crash
of something
brutally smashed

Driving in the opposite direction
pal bhar ke liye
dil ne kheecha, mn ne chaha
apni car ko rok lu
uss dabbee ki halat poonch lu

Then I thought of you
and remembered
that machino, ke koi dil nahin hote
yeh kamzori, toh sirf
insaano ko di gayee hai


© Gopika Nath

Maut [hinglish]

You killed yourself
Khud ko hi maar dala
Swathed
in the blood of humiliation
every muscle tissue now
is rigid as bone

Mere saamne
tumhari laash padi hai
but I haven’t come to terms
with death of an idea
hope nurtured through
a reign of pain

Chauth, aaj hai
lekin, tumhari arthi ko
kandha nahin mila
Nor have memories
and desires turned to ashes

Ek ajeeb sa ehsaans hai
almost as if, tum mare nahin
sirf, ek naatak kar rahe ho
I’m scared to light the pyre
in case you awaken
in the cooling embers
of an anger that killed

Lekin ek darr yeh bhi toh hai
ki I’ll keep you alive
but never see you turn
towards me again

Laash, ab tumhari nahin
meri padi hai


© Gopika Nath