Heart Song

I needed these words today
this remembrance
of being, once long ago
I was, now forgotten
in the humdrum of
worldly strategies, seeking
a return to love
That blissful union
of soul, where
I once was, me
with only myself

***

How did I go
so far from you

So far from a love
I gave but could not contain

So far from myself
that I did not recognize
you, you or you, him or her

My emissaries from
that yesterday when
you kissed my soul
with the bliss of nothingness

***

I am parched
So thirsty I sought
to drink from his lips
knowing the kiss
would never fulfil
a longing for you, knowing
how thirsty I was for you
I persisted because
I needed to touch, to feel
skin next to mine and
even though it never felt
as divine as you, I
persist for thirst slakes
my sinew, a thirst for
sweat, semen and skin
yours through him
I will always feel parched
but not alone, thirsty but
holding the glass in vanity
Knowing, yet denying
the essence of you
within me.

***

Is there no secret
I can keep from you

Every thought you hear
every feeling you know
even those yet unfathomed
by me

Every question, you
answer, before
I can complete
its punctuating mark

When you know me
so well and tend
my every need
Why do I seek another
skin next to mine
Why do I forsake
your caressing tenderness
for the sweat of him

***

These tears are for you
gratitude from my soul
bound till yesterday in
the agony of wanting
to be loved, knowing
I am, yet unable
to see you

***

Fill me
so that I can live
another day

Fill me, fill me, and fill me
with the subtleness
of you

Fill me
Fill this parched soul
with a renewed passion
for life

Fill me, fill me and fill me
that I may live close
very close to you.

***



© Gopika Nath